2024 Holiday Almanac
Kia ora!
As the summer season kicks off, we thought we'd share a bit of festive cheer with our very own Holiday Almanac.
Inside, you'll find a mix of silly jokes, quirky facts, yummy recipes and holiday hacks to help you enjoy the holidays. So, grab a mince pie, put your feet up, and enjoy a bit of fun brought to you from our team.
Cat-proof your Christmas tree
For years, we used string fairy lights on our Christmas tree that looked like the first image:
But, a couple of years ago we got our ginger cats. For some strange reason, they decided that each light bulb was an opportunity for food and started attempting to eat the lights. So, we swapped to rope lights and boom. Problem solved!
These are a great idea for anyone else with cats that have a single brain cell.
You can buy these lights at Bunnings(external link).
Have a splash....at someone else's house
Our family follows a rotating Christmas schedule, taking turns travelling to one of four houses to celebrate together for a few days.
The highlight is always our annual water fight, which has become much more fun now that everyone—kids and adults alike—is old enough to laugh instead of cry when they get soaked!
Top tips for driving from Wellington to Auckland this summer
Fill up petrol before you get to Auckland as it gets more expensive as you travel up the country.
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Get the 'new bizarre' Pringles flavours from the supermarket, like Prawn Cocktail, Hot Diggity Dog, or Ketchup. These are a great way to try something new and unknown and a conversation topic.
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Stop in Sanson at Viv's Kitchen(external link).
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Stop at Taihape at Le Cafe Telephonique(external link).
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Stop at Taupo at Jimmy Coops Lakehouse - Restaurant & Bar.(external link)
Traditions, cheese and chocolate
Christmas Day is a time for indulging in too much cheese and chocolate and lolling around with wrapping paper strewn everywhere. We do lots of traditions in the lead-up to Christmas and I love sharing these with my kids. Well-loved and worn Christmas decorations are unpacked and carefully placed on the tree and around the house. Chocolate advent calendars are opened, oranges are studded with cloves, and cousin Secret Santa gifts are exchanged. It smells like pine and spices and UK ancestry and seems at odds with board shorts and water pistols. I always make too much mulled wine for summer, but my dad sensing the hour of need, nobly steps forward to drink some.
My five-year-old, growing wise to the ways of the world, has started asking pointed questions about Santa's logistics...in front of his three-year-old brother. Sssh little one....after all, this is the most magical conspiracy.
Indulgent Sushi for Christmas Lunch
Christmas Day can be hard for separated parents and their kids. In my situation, my two boys always went to their Dads for a sumptuous feast in the evening.
So that the kids weren't overloaded for that, I resisted the urge to do a roast or large lunch.
Instead, we would start the day with a filled bun for breakfast followed by a family activity of making sushi together, and then a walk with our dogs before returning home for lunch.
Our indulgent sushi would consist of extremely generous large pieces of salmon or teriyaki chicken with generous amounts of avocado.
The pleasure came in sharing the activity together with the subsequent indulgent sushi lunch; while still leaving room to enjoy their dinner at their Dads.
Unbelievably entertaining roadtrips
On long car trips we're kept alert and entertained by listening to several episodes of a BBC Podcast/Radio show called "The Unbelievable Truth"
It's a comedy panel game described in the programme's introduction as "built on truth and lies." Hosted by David Mitchell, the show features four comedians delivering short lectures on various subjects. Their goal? To smuggle as many truthful facts past their opponents as possible while competing for the most points.
It's genuinely funny and family-friendly (mostly). Plus, you learn some weird and cool things, like a German duck was once caught doing nearly 40 km/h in a 30 zone and that 'Puke', 'Dead Spaniard' and 'Dying Monkey' were all Elizabethan fabric colours.
You can get "The Unbelievable Truth" on most platforms, or by heading to the BBC website(external link).
Strawberry Santa
At Christmas, we always make these with the kids. The first picture is what they are supposed to look like from the web, second is what ours usually look like - haha!
The stress free way to cook a turkey
(None of this silly basting it every hour)
Set Oven to 165° C
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Make sure turkey is not frozen. This takes planning ahead as they take days to defrost. If you knock on the turkey and it hurts your hand. It’s still frozen.
Take defrosted turkey out of refrigerator.
Make sure to remove any bags of giblets it may have inside or you will have a not so fun surprise.
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Use a large roasting pan with rack. Lay the turkey on rack, breast side up.
Stuff the inside of turkey with a combination of citrus fruit and onions.
Mix a good quantity of herbs with butter. Herbs like sage, rosemary and thyme are my faves for turkey. Use A LOT of butter, then loosen it’s skin. And shove all that herby goodness between the skin and turkey meat everywhere possible. Rub some of the butter on top along with a wee bit of olive oil. Then salt and pepper generously.
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Pour about four cups of water in the bottom of the pan.
Cover the turkey with foil and seal the foil loosely around the edges of the pan.
Plunk in the thermometer under a leg in one of the “less-likely-to-be-cooked" places.
Put the turkey in oven and set your timer for 45 minutes per kg. Make sure turkey goes in early enough in the day. Then, run away with your relaxing beverage of choice.
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Ignore the turkey until it has 30 minutes left to cook. Then, pop off the foil and let the top brown.
Pull the turkey out and let it chill on the bench for at least 30 minutes. Then all the lovely juices you have kept in don’t leak out all over the plate!
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To carve, Jamie Oliver has a nice method: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI-y-9lZr6o(external link)
And, save all the run-off from your lovely bird to make gravy. Just put the roasting pan on a burner and: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im4qjOh1Hbc(external link)
Enjoy!
Mayonnaise on toast
At the start of the first Covid lockdown, we started a home cooking theme with this recipe:
- two slices of hot toast (white bread)
- butter
- mayonnaise (2 tbsp)
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Toast bread and spread with butter. Spread one tablespoon of mayonnaise on each slice of hot buttered toast*.
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Serve immediately.
*Gourmands may wish to experiment with hot English mustard as an additional ingredient.
(It doesn't make sense in the heat but I'm into it)
Mulled wine recipe
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1 bottle red wine
1 large cinnamon stick
2 star anise
4 cloves
4 tbsp caster sugar/ brown sugar
1 orange sliced
1 lemon's zest (use a vegetable peeler or zester)
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Put these things in the slow cooker for an hour on low.
Et voilà! It's ready to serve and pretend you're at a German Christmas market.
Pairs well with your favourite Christmas jumper.
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The slow cooker will keep it warm too.
To keep your Emacs diary or agenda updated with the current phase of the moon—helping you stay in tune with your Maramataka even when the sky isn’t visible—just add the following to your diary file:
%%(diary-lunar-phases)
or type M-x lunar-phases to see a listing.
A weird Sudoku fact
Notice that the 16 cells highlighted in yellow contain the exact same set of digits as the 16 cells highlighted in green (each set contains four 2s, four 7s, three 3s, two 4s, two 5s and one 9).
Now for the weird fact: This pattern holds true for every correct Sudoku solution. For any puzzle, the set of digits in the yellow cells will always be exactly the same as the set of digits in the green cells.
This is an example of Set Equivalence Theory (SET) and this particular arrangement is known as Phistomofel's Ring.
Rudolph’s nose is scientifically possible
Rudolph’s glowing red nose isn’t just a cute story—it's based on a real scientific phenomenon. Reindeer have a unique adaptation in their noses that helps them to heat up cold air before it enters their lungs. The blood vessels in their noses are packed close together, and they have a high concentration of capillaries, which could, in theory, make their noses glow red.
The universe smells like raspberries
Scientists working on the International Space Station have discovered that space itself, or more accurately the gases around certain stars, has a distinct smell.
It’s been described as a sweet, metallic scent, somewhat similar to raspberries or rum.
The first computer bug was a moth
The term "computer bug" comes from an actual bug...
In 1947, Grace Hopper and her team found a moth causing issues in a computer at Harvard University. They taped it to a logbook and noted it as the "first actual case of bug being found."
The best ever Christmas cracker joke:
What's green and points north?
A magnetic cucumber.
Dad jokes for surviving a holiday dinner:
I saw my dog walk over sandpaper.
He said: rough rough.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sunflowers are yellow
I don't have a poem, this is all just garden facts.
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How much does Santa have to pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It's on the house!
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When the gingerbread man broke his leg, what did the doctor tell him to do?
Try icing it.
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What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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Eggs Benedict on a hubcap.
No plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
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What is Santa's favorite music?
Wrap.
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